Both Liam and Isabella both made it home for long visits for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. At Christmas, I was introduced to Ryan. I, too, thought he was quite handsome, and I was happy for Isabella. He mentioned that he was up for associate and three members from the firm would be given the title on January 5th. He felt good about his chances.

The holidays came and went too fast. Liam wanted a telescope for Christmas, which I thought was an excellent gift. He would spend many a nite looking at the Northern Sky and other constellations and planets. Isabella needed a new desktop with double screens. Her research was getting harder and harder, as the small but profitable biotechnology companies kept their information tightly close to the company coffers.

Both gifts I was able to acquire and both were happy.

It was back to work as usual when the New Year came and went. Isabella phoned late in the evening on the 5th. They were at a nice steakhouse in Baltimore, and Ryan had been awarded the title Associate at the firm. They celebrated only until 10:30 PM at the restaurant, and then went on their own to one of Ryan's favourite wine bars in Charlotte to finish out the evening. He had done it!

I was slated to go to Middlebury in March. February came and went. I made the fourteen hour-plus drive in one day on a Friday. I left at 5:00 AM and arrived late that nite around 8:00 PM. The following day, I would follow Liam across campus, as he led prospective students on a tour of Middlebury.

During the tour, I met someone interesting. He was a professor at Frostburg State University in Maryland. In addition to teaching English and Italian Literature, he was a writer himself. Brad had a certain arrogance about him, but I could see his goodness and kindness of heart from behind his glasses. He was specifically educated in Roman Literature and studied at both Yale and Dartmouth. At any rate, he was no dummy.

He paid for lunch for me with a black American Express, so I knew that money was not an issue. He was a New York Times best-selling author ten times over. This was a surprise, but not shocking. He was younger than me by nearly ten years at a cool fifty-eight, and had had a thirty-year teaching career and a fifteen year career as a writer.

He was a good listener and easy on the eyes. I loved the shapes and contours of his face, and it matched his well-built body and his gentlemanly look. Obviously confident, he talked about himself as well, but not too much.

He had started having children late in life, as he had traveled thru Europe studying literature. Somehow I knew; if we made a connection, I would never get an errant sentence or spelling by him, but that in-and-of-itself might challenge me to be a better writer.

At the halfway point in the tour, we managed to get lost and meet back up with Liam at the beginning point. We decided to stay in touch, and would develop a friendship first. He lived at nearly the halfway point to Vermont; so being aggressive, I promised to make the first visit in April.

On my return trip from Vermont, I thought about what Ann had said. I remembered a college cheer from back in the day that ran over and over in my head.

"Be Aggressive, Be Be Aggressive, B-E AGG- RESSIVE!"

I couldn't help but think how to tackle my problem.

I phoned Isabella and asked for advise. Here was a 69 year-old woman asking her 32 year-old daughter for advice...but I needed it!

Belle said that it would be ideal if it came naturally. She mentioned that she was talking with the man she had met at the club in Charlotte. They met casually, and both had a common interest in careers. Ryan was in private equity with Seven Mile Advisors. He was fairly new to the firm, but was aggressively aiming toward an associate position and then partner. He was slated for associate that year and then partner would come as slots opened up.

She stated he was tall, dark and handsome. He grew up in Birmingham, Alabama, and had attended the University of Alabama prior to graduate school; which he had just started online thru Northeastern University. The firm was "footing the bill", so he had no worries on how to finance the additional education. He was coming to Baltimore in two weeks, just prior to the Thanksgiving holiday to see Belle.

The advice that I was given was to first, be patient; and secondly, to not be too aggressive. It would come, she had faith in this.

At my local spot on Friday nite, I had been conversing with a few men, but none of them quite piqued my interest. I was going to an open house in the spring, and perhaps I would meet someone in Vermont.

My prospects in Asheville seemed bleak.

Thursday evening I packed every last sweater that I had in my closet. I knew it would be cold and blustery with plenty of snowfall. There was already five feet on the ground at Middlebury, despite the roads being clear and passable. I hoped the roads on the way to Vermont would be the same.

I decided to take two days to make the trip since I knew I would be staying for a week. I booked a Bed & Breakfast; and decided to stop just northwest of New York. Perhaps I could add to my sweater collection and find some appropriate attire for Vermont.

On the Creek Bed & Breakfast would be my home for the next five days. The trip would be nine days in total with four days of driving and five days to visit with Liam. As mentioned previously, he had taken up skiing and snowboarding. Why the snowboarding, I don't know, and it is incredibly hard on the feet and ankles; where skiing is much less so. We did drive to Killington and stayed at the lodge for two days there. I decided not to try my hand at skiing and preferably stayed in the lodge where I could enjoy the spa and hot chocolate by a fireplace.

Our room had a fireplace as well, so I stayed cozy for those two days. The main topic of discussion for the weekend was Liam's major. Preferring science, he decided that he was going to study genetics and food science. I had done some research on the internet while he conquered the slopes and found that he might enjoy taking some additional classes at Vermont Tech. The had excellent classes to take from craft distillery to craft beer making. I knew it would spark his interest.

At Middlebury, the food in the dining hall was surprisingly fit to eat. While we ate lunch there, we preferred restaurants in the evening. Even with his allowance; where Liam was already spending to much of it on craft beer...as I could tell from his trash can, the cost of going to nice restaurants sans Mom's American Express was out of the question.

We did have a great five days together. Despite the fact that I did not ski at Liam's request, he was thrilled to have my visit. I promised to return in the spring, as both he and Isabella would be home for the holidays. Another summer at Casa Amor, and I would be seventy. Seeing how grown-up and mature Liam was brought back thoughts of Brady that I had not had in a long time.

I was happy for Liam's choice of majors, and wondered how he would use it for the greater good.

Ann, my psychiatrist, was happy to see me. It was unnecessary to make a change to my medication, but I needed an ear.

She was happy to listen, and I gave her an update first on the children just to get myself talking. I was; however, feeling a little depressed at the current moment. Isabella was great, Liam was great, and I was just so-so. I needed a change. I was still writing creatively which was my only outlet. I was nearly halfway thru my book, and I had given a copy to Belle over the weekend for her to have a look. She was so used to reading financial analysis, that I thought she would enjoy the change. I was sixty-eight and I wondered if I would ever find love.

I explained to Ann that while I wanted to look for love, what I really wanted was for it to find me. Mother was getting old, and she was now ninety, and it seemed that in the blink of an eye that I might be ninety also. Ann was happy to listen, and encouraged me to be a little more aggressive. I had made myself so busy with the children after Paul, that I made no time for myself. There was baseball for Liam, and the professional world for Belle.

The most recent shopping trip is what prompted my visit to Ann. While Isabella and I had a great time in Tennessee and North Carolina for a few days, the evening at the club made me weary and sad. I had wished for a man to be with me. Just a nice fellow who would enjoy the fine food and fine wine that I do, and that would love, appreciate and enjoy my children. It had also been a while since I thought of Brady. "Was he really in the back recesses of my memory at this point?"

What I did know; was despite the weather, it was time to visit Liam at Middlebury. It had also been a while since I had visited mother; and although I kept her in notes, I knew her health was declining day by day, and it would soon be time for an assisted living community to enter the picture.

Once I finished with Ann, I gave myself a month to "be aggressive". I promised to continue with my medication, and she advised adding 3 mg to my Abilify, bringing the dosage up to 5 mg. Tis would hopefully give me an added boost.

I would leave Friday for Vermont, and be there for a week.

We returned to Asheville from Charlotte on Monday evening and Isabella would leave on Tuesday morning.

Up early, she had made me breakfast that morning and brought it into my room. She said I would have to get on a robe and come "kiss her goodbye" if I wanted to see her, as it was 9:00 AM, and she had to leave for Baltimore. It would be dinner time before she returned, so getting started was imperative; as she needed to be rested and back to work Wednesday morning.

She said not much about the rest of her evening in Charlotte. It only consisted of an hour or so at the club, so maybe there was nothing to tell. She left quickly after some hugs and a short chat over coffee and a bagel. Once again, my little girl; 0now a big girl, was gone.

I had yet to visit Middlebury and was a little timid. The winters in Vermont are much different than those here in Asheville. A skift of snow here can mean inches-to-feet in Vermont. Liam had skied a few times before, but it was becoming his new winter hobby.

Despite the random calls for information requests or money, I usually talked to Liam on Tuesday and Friday and Isabella on Wednesday and Saturday. I had made this schedule and the children were kind enough to attempt to stick to it. I think this is because they had hoped that I would find someone. Paul had been nice enough and kind enough, but in the end, was not the right man.

I still went out to Limone's, my favourite place in Asheville occasionally on Friday nites for a drink or two, but I wasn't looking. Lord knows, I needed to. After spending a long weekend with Belle, I realized how much the strong need for companionship was tugging at me in my life. And it is great to have that quality time with your kids, but you need a partner as well.

I phoned my psychiatrist the following morning. We were due for a chat.

We "shopped until we dropped" for two days. We had booked a room at The Christmas Inn. And there were plenty of restaurants to enjoy as well. Paula Deen has just opened a $20M complex close by, so we had to try her fare. It certainly did not disappoint.

Belle mostly bought clothes for work; and I on the other hand, bought clothes that made me look like I was in my forties as opposed to my sixties. I wondered if I would ever find love again, and Isabella and I talked about this in a "running discussion" over the next four days.

The days would go too fast. In Charlotte, we stayed at the Aloft hotel. Trendy and new, it was a little psychedelic for me, but Isabella usually had a reservation at Aloft in whatever city she was traveling to as she met with CEO's and CFO's around the country to discuss their current and future operations. I could tell that she was going to hugely successful at T. Rowe Price in Baltimore.

We talked about the city she lived in. She enjoyed going to Orioles baseball game and was typically given tickets by the firm at least once every two weeks. There was a little bar close to the ballpark; Pickles, that she frequented and there was also Fells Point nearby. This was a slew of bars that one could "hop" around during the evening, and my little Isabella loved to dance. She had come to like this activity very much. There wasn't much of it at William & Mary, in the way of things to do, and she mostly focused on her studies during her time there.

In Charlotte, she somehow got me to go dancing. I felt too old to go, but at the same time I realized that Belle and I would not have this opportunity to really bond all that often in the future. I decided to "roll the dice", and I tagged along. I "dressed to the nines" so as not to embarrass her. Not slutty, but mildly inappropriate for my age. I was going for that forties look again. Prior to going to a club, we had eaten dinner at Bentley's. This was the higlight of the evening for me and the dancing for Belle.

I managed to stay out till 1:00 AM, and had to cash it in. Bella stayed behind, as she was talking to a private equity guy; a young fellow of thirty and a little more mature than Belle, but they seemed to create a bond. I was happy for her; and more happy when she returned to Aloft alone. 

Spring had sprung, and it had been a long time since I had done something for myself.

I wanted Isabella to join me, so I asked her o drive home for the weekend the first weekend in March. What were we going to do? None other than shop until we dropped.

We would spend two days in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, and two days in Charlotte, North Carolina, and she would return to Baltimore Tuesday and resume work on Wednesday.

The flowers we starting to think about blooming and I sat on the front porch. She arrived that Thursday night around 4:00 PM. I was excited to see her and the first thing we did was to put on a cup of tea. Sitting on Adirondack chairs on the front porch, we talked about her life in Baltimore. She was having a very successful working career to this point, and was happy. She would still be a "new" analyst for several years, but she was already making a large introduction with the fund managers. A few good picks over a five year run can make their career. And it was Belle's job to make that happen.

I was still not getting out. The prompt end to my relationship with Paul was like a karate chop to the throat. It made me not want to date. Surely men of my age would understand that I would not be willing to simply throw myself at them...or did they? The times had changed, and I wholeheartedly believed they were not for the better. I feared for Isabella and Liam; Belle more so, but each of them were young, but mature.

I had taken the time to make Isabella her favourite breakfast dish for in the morning. It was a recipe that I inherited from my mother-in-law and one that I will always have on file.

Isabella and I sat on the porch until 11:00 PM. We had watched the neighbors come home from work, the kids in the neighbourhood playing in the street, and had moved onto wine by 6:30 PM. A bottle from southeast Australia; a Viognier from Yalumba, was our first, and then a Cabernet from Mendoza, Argentina; Alamos, would serve as a nite cap.

The maiden voyage that we had taken so many times would start at 5:00 AM. We would be off to Pigeon Forge.