Not necessarily expected, my mother and father were excited about the news when I told them that evening. Instead of returning to my apartment after work, I decided to join Mom and Dad for sinner at home that evening. It was April, and there was just enough time to make all the arrangements if we were quick about securing the location for the wedding and reception. Mom was happy to be involved in the process and the following Monday she began making phone calls. In a stroke of luck, there had been a cancellation for that weekend at one of the most historic homes in Charleston. The Legare Waring House is where we would exchange our vows.

                There is something majestic about this place. The moss-draped oak trees are larger than life itself and provide for what seems like a covered pathway to grace leading up to the home. The home was built in the 1840s and today maintains that traditional elegance along with an uncluttered essence of beauty. It would be perfect for an occasion that is supposed to stand the test of time. The cost was something that I was not prepared for, but my father had promised that his only daughter would be given away in proper fashion. That did not necessarily mean that we were going to be frivolous with the money designated for my wedding, but he had saved for many years for such an occasion. We booked the house and we would be married near the gardens overlooking the lagoon.

                Graham and I wanted the list of attendees to feel like distinguished guests. I had only one brother and he was an only child. In that light, it became easy to keep the wedding party small. However, keeping the rest of the list small would be a challenge. We agreed on one hundred guests. After arriving at an agreeable number, we then moved on to the other essentials such as picking a cake, a first song and our wedding party number. We agreed on four. I debated for some time about whether to invite Rona. She had been a prominent figure in my life for nearly three years. We had shared some fabulous times and even some fabulous secrets. But the kiss was a sticking point. What could go wrong at the wedding if she drank too much champagne? I decided to forgo the offer to attend.

                With most of the arrangements made, it was time to pick a dress. I was also having some trouble picking a brides maid, but I knew that with a few days of solid thought, a decision could be made. As my mother and I continued to make command decisions, each one left me closer toward the goal of marrying the man of my dreams.

                Graham was a wonderful person through the whole process. He made sure that everything was perfect from my perspective. While this is an all-important day for a man as well, he understood that me as his bride was the one who demanded perfection. Everything needed to proceed without a hitch. I would call him and talk with him as decisions were made and ask for his approval. In everything, he stated that he wanted that which I desired to make this day perfect for me. Perhaps he was even too agreeable, but I loved hearing his words of agreement.

                By the end of July all the details were ironed out. I could now relax for a bit and enjoy the rest of the summer. Graham and I still had our typical date on Friday or Saturday evening, and he would come over to my new place on Sunday and watch football. If we didn’t feel like going out over the weekend, I would typically cook him dinner. We had started walking a few miles each evening and would go hiking or biking over the weekend. It seemed as if everything was falling into place. We had developed what I would call healthy routines which pleased me.

                I was anxious by the end of July to get married. August would undoubtedly seem like a long month, and there were three weeks in September also prior to the big day. On evenings after our walks, I would typically spend some time reading on the porch as the weather permitted. Even when the summer rains came, I was under a covered porch which didn’t bother me. Candlelight and a glass of wine was almost a sure bet to accompany me and my book on those evenings. I dreamed about walking through the moss-draped oak tress leading to a small crowd in chairs seeing me glow as I walked closer and closer to my suitor.

                We decided on saying the traditional vows. We talked about writing our own, but there is something about tradition with respect to this part of the ceremony which I intended to honor. My mind wandered as I thought about the speeches that would be given and the reception that would ensue. I had plenty of time to think and dream as the wedding was seven weeks away.

                In August, Graham seemed a bit more distant. He was not visiting as often and I thought that perhaps he was just swamped with work as many of his clients had filed extensions. He managed to make it less and less for our evening walk, citing excuses, and we were not spending as much time on the weekends. Initially, I chalked up the behavior to a stressful workload. By the end of August, I became concerned. Had he changed his mind? Was he getting cold feet? One evening as he was returning home from work he asked me to meet him in the parking lot of a restaurant prior to an evening client meeting. I thought nothing of it immediately, but his face said it all when I arrived and opened the door to the passenger seat. He stated rather abruptly that he was not sure he was ready for marriage. As the tears flowed down my face, and I could not even speak. I exited the car and left.

                The following day he didn’t call as he normally had sometime during the workday. I knew this was bad news. How would I tell my father? Was he absolutely decided in his position? How could I change the events of last evening and keep this train from derailing? A million questions entered my mind without answers.

                Two days later he called. I had been doing plenty of thinking on my own as I was positive I was getting married on September 24. I was not about to let the decisions of my recent past go up in smoke over a young man with cold feet. I suggested he come over to dinner that evening and we could talk.

                As we sat together over the dinner I had prepared, it was eerily quiet at first. After he had nearly finished his dinner, he began to explain his concerns. What had felt so right a few months ago now seemed to have waned into reluctance. He attempted to sound practical. Were we financially sound? Where would we live? Did I want children right away, and how would we care for them?

                I admitted that all were valid concerns and had answers for each one of them.  We were each employed in the family business. Check. While I intended to keep my apartment, I suggested that we live there until we could find a suitable home. Check. I had NO intentions of having children right away as I wanted Graham to fully inherit his father’s practice when he retired in five to seven years so that I could be a stay-at-home mother. Check. Despite my answers to these valid, yet untimely concerns, I could still smell a bit of hesitation. What else was there? I pleaded him to bring to the forefront any other issues. As I scooped out a bit of ice cream and a piece of peach pie, I awaited his answer to the final proving question. He answered in the affirmative that he was just scared. We agreed to proceed as planned. Check mate.

                Southerners are known for being rugged and tough, and in that moment, I believed I had fought one of the toughest battles in my young life. The wedding was now three weeks away. The crisp air of fall was creeping in as we had resumed our walks each evening. It felt like we had turned a corner and that all would be well. Graham’s workload was fading somewhat, and business as usual was happening at my father’s engineering firm. I began spending more time with Mom and dad on the weekends as I knew I would be seeing less of them once I officially became a “wife”.

                The next three weeks were practically a blur. It was now Friday night and we were seated at a restaurant in Charleston. Earlier in the day the women went shopping and spelunking in downtown Charleston. The guys opted to play golf. We chose McCrady’s primarily for the history and the atmosphere. This restaurant has been a staple in downtown Charleston for nearly a century. I had chosen three main courses for our guests. Lamb, Beef Ribeye and Wreckfish. We had chosen The Chef’s Table Room for our private event. Here, we would have the ultimate level of service in a private setting with dinner served and hosted by the chef himself and his staff.

                Everyone in attendance seemed to enjoy dinner. It was a small gathering consisting of my mother and father, Graham’s parents, my brother and the wedding party; which consisted of the best man, Paul, and two other roommates from Vanderbilt, and on my side was my best friend from home Tasha, and two girlfriends Susan and Mallory. Not too long into dinner, Tasha proposed a toast. She wished us well and spoke about how she believed we were a match made in heaven. As I looked at Graham, I could see him smiling and with a glimpse in his eye of love that I had not seen in the past few weeks. As I looked at mine and his parents, I could see them gleaming as well.

               

                Dinner was served in five courses and I can say with certainty that we enjoyed some of the finest food in the South. The chef had previously been awarded the James Beard Award. The wine was flowing and laughing and crying at times was common. After three hours of dining, it was time to retire to our respective quarters for the evening and prepare for the day ahead.

                The following morning, I woke early to the sound of birds singing. As I drew back the drapes from my window, the sun was already peeking over the horizon much to my surprise. It was a sign to me that we would have a beautiful day. We had stayed at the John Rutledge House. The Inn was built in 1763 by John Rutledge, one of the signers of the constitution. Today, this bed and breakfast hosts residents in the main house and also a number of carriage houses from the property. My mother and I stayed in the main house and my ladies of honor stayed in the carriage houses.

                I was the first to come down to the breakfast area that morning and made myself a cup of tea. It was not long before my mother joined me. She had decided to give me some advice that morning about what she felt was some key cornerstones of a lasting marriage. Her thoughts were simple, but resonating. Keep your God first in your life and he will guide you. Keep your husband’s stomach full with home cooking. Praise him whenever you see an opportunity to do so. Allow him to make the final decision concerning the finances and the discipline of your children. Never go to bed angry.

                All of this I had taken to heart in a few short moments. Sage advice from your mother is not something that all daughters have. I could trust in my mother as I had seen her live by those exact principles. And I wanted a home and a loving relationship that resembled that of my parents. They were successful at marriage and still very much in love.

                When Tasha, Susan and Mallory arrived, we ordered breakfast. I had my favorite, eggs benedict. We were all well rested and excited for the day. While the gifts would be received much later, the girls had gone together and presented a small token of their appreciation for being a small part of this all-important day for me. They all knew collectively that I was a fan of Coach Purses. They thought it appropriate for me to have a special handbag to carry on my honeymoon. I was thrilled at their gesture and could not keep myself for thanking them. Tasha had been a friend since grade school and Susan and Mallory were high school classmates. That morning, I had a few moments where I drifted off wondering about Rona. Had I been too hard on her and her actions last fall? As the thoughts drifted in and out of my head momentarily, I decided to let them rest and focus on the rest of my day.

                After breakfast, it was time to get dressed. The wedding was not until 3:30 PM, but I was decidedly anxious to wear my dress. First, I would need to go get my nails and hair done. We walked to a local parlor in downtown and were greeted with champagne as a starter before our primping. We giggled and told stories as the purveyors of the salon did their best to make us show-ready. Tasha, Susan and Mallory were all in serious relationships so they too shared in the excitement with their stories about the setting, plans and honeymoon spots for their upcoming nuptials. Tasha was the only one who was engaged, so she could completely understand the importance of this day for me. There is something about a wedding that makes women giddy with angst and pure astonishment.

                With my nails and hair finished, it was time for a light snack prior to donning my dress. I had chosen a Vera Wang for the occasion. It was an “A Frame” that had a gentle flow from top to bottom so as not to embellish my figure too wide. I loved the style, but intended to keep the dress from flowing outward too much. I wore ballerina slippers and the veil was just past shoulder length. It was an Ivory Strapless Beaded Silk Wedding Dress that I had purchased in New York City. My mother and I had taken a shopping trip there the month before, and despite Graham’s moment of hesitation, I was going to wear it. The bridesmaids were also accommodated with an “A Frame” Silk Dress in robin egg blue. The men would wear robin egg blue ties and Graham had not revealed the color of his.

                I had feelings of excitement and anxiousness as I dressed. It seemed like we were all scurrying around at the last minute, but really we had time on our hands to spare. I believe it was the intensity of this day that made time feel as if it was getting away from me. My mother helped with some last minute preparations and then it was down the aisle I would soon go.

                The pathway to my guests and my future husband was all that I had envisioned and more for so many years. It was storybook worthy. As I walked under the oak trees hand- in- hand with my father I could feel all eyes on me. It was truly my special day. “Canon in D” was played by some string musicians as we came toward the crowd awaiting us. As we neared those seated, we stopped for a second at the back row. My father expressed his love for me in words like I had never heard before. And thought he would be giving me away on this very day, he promised to never be far from my side.

                After a brief pause, the crowd rose to their feet and we walked slowly. As I walked past silver pales filled with water and daises, Graham was all smiles as he could now see me clearly. I must say, I was befitting to have any man I would choose in the entire world standing before me at that moment, but it was Graham I was walking toward to become a bride. We paused one final time, my father kissed me on the forehead outside of my veil and wished me the best for all the years ahead of us.

                The service was short but sweet. In about twenty minutes, we were saying our vows. It was an intense and rather calming moment. There was no stress in my voice as I said my vows; only tears. As Graham professed his, I heard a slight trembling in his voice as he was holding back tears. As we leaned in for the kiss after being pronounced man and wife, there was a thundering of clapping that was heard from behind. The bridesmaids were sobbing and the men were hugging each other. It was a joyous occasion that afternoon for all.

                After spending some time greeting all of our guests, we sat down to dinner under a tent the large courtyard. There was soft music played by a quartet of strings and everyone laughed and cried while conversing with one another. The weather was absolutely perfect; not a cloud in sight. After all plates hit the table, it was time for Tasha to make her toast. She recounted several times during middle school and high school about how awkward I had been with the boys in school. The truth was, I had not an interest in any of them. She finished with a few sentences about how my life had changed when I met Graham. While she was not at Vanderbilt like Rona had been to see the twinkle in my eye or the quickness in my step after a conversation with him, she was privy to all the details by phone. She could hear the excitement and the love from afar in my voice, and she knew it was something special.

                After Tasha, Paul had a few words of his own and a few funny stories to share about Graham. He, too, had seen a change in his best friend. Despite his cold feet near the end – which was not shared- Paul knew that Graham had made an excellent choice in a wife. As dinner ensued, Graham and I didn’t say much to each other as I believe we were both a little stunned at the overall emotional toll of the day. Not in a negative way, but decidedly positive. We were each happy to have some finality to the event and were encouraged by the commencement of our relationship as husband and wife.

                After we cut the cake, hand-in-hand, it was off for a few pictures before our first dance and the rest of the reception. But first, I had to clean off my face as Graham was ornery in the moment of feeding me my first bite. I just knew the pictures would be marvelous. We decided to have some taken earlier and just a few after the cutting of the cake. The photographer was further responsible for obtaining some tasteful snapshots at my request for nearly everyone in attendance. I wanted everyone there to remember and feel as if they were in some small way apart of this monumental day.

                Graham was always fond of the song “Lady in Red”; in fact, it was his favorite of all time. And while I thought there were better songs for our first dance, I agreed to allow him to have this played for our dance. Afterward, I danced with my father. He couldn’t have been more proper and more proud of me on this day. I was taking a new leap of faith and growing up “way too fast” as he stated. However, he was calm and approving. It would have been easy for some fathers to advise with a heavier hand. He could have brought up the fact that I had left college. My father is not this way. He loved me unconditionally, and that was what I was looking for in Graham. I wanted to find real love that would stand the test of time.

                It did not seem long after the dancing began that we were saying our goodbyes. We had a plane to catch to a destination that I was unaware of. I had put Graham in charge of picking a place for the honeymoon. I wanted to be surprised. I only stated that I wanted to be in the sun and be able to wear a bathing suit at some point. The rest of the details were for him to address. Our convertible was tastefully decorated; however, there was no question that we had just been married. A few minutes’ drive to Charleston International Airport led me to believe that we had needed the passport that I had packed. We were in fact embarking on an international trip, which was the first clue that Graham gave me.

                It was a long wait after check-in until we were called to board the plane. He covered my ears during the announcement as I was not yet supposed to know our destination. Walking down the long corridor to our flight, I began to wonder where we might be landing early in the morning. As the stewardess prepared to give her obligatory speech, I listened intently. We were going to Aruba. Upon hearing this, I screamed with excitement and punched him square in the bicep. It was a loving gesture, as to say that he had knocked the ball out of the park and hit a home run with his part of the planning. In the morning, I would be in the sun.

               

               

                It was still very early in the morning before the sun had come up when we landed. I had managed to catch a few winks on the plane, never remaining in a deep sleep. While I was excited and wanted to stay up during the flight, I was at the same time tired from the long day associated with becoming a bride. The plane had landed with a forceful thud about the time I was waking up from a small nap. I immediately opened my eyes wide and prepared to embark on our ten day honeymoon. As we picked up our luggage from baggage claim, I was thinking about the rest of the events from the night before. I had hoped that our guests enjoyed themselves. I wondered who the last to leave from the reception was, and how the pictures would turn out. One thing was for sure; my father had spared no expense.

                After a short and wild cab ride, we arrived at the Tamarijn, Aruba. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon and I could feel a slight breeze at my back. We flopped the suitcases on the bed and I encouraged Graham to put on his bathing suit. That was the first thing I grabbed from the suitcase as well and ran into the bathroom to put it on. I had purchased a new black strapless bikini for the occasion. As I opened the door to our patio, I rushed toward the ocean as if I had just learned to run for the first time. Within a minute or two, I was standing at the ocean allowing the crest of the waves to caress my toes gently. Graham was not far behind and as he ran toward me he swept me off my feet and carried me a few paces into the ocean and dunked us both in the water. As we emerged from the ocean, he had an ornery look about him. He smiled and we knew in just that moment as we gazed in each other’s eyes that we had done it. We were married. We were husband and wife.

                Neither of us had brought a towel and the cool air of the morning caused us to shiver just a bit. I ran back into the room and found a towel for us to wrap up in. As we laid there on the beach, we talked a little, but mostly just stared in each other’s eyes…kissing each other from time to time. After a half hour or so lying on the beach using a towel as a blanket, we decided to go back to the room and order room service. By now, you can surmise that I had tea and eggs benedict, my favorite. Graham had waffles and eggs and we opted for them to have some island fruit sent along as well.

                After breakfast we showered to remove the sand from our slightly chilled bodies. We showered together that morning and I loved the touch of Graham’s hands running through my hair as he washed it gently. After our shower we laid into bed and we made love for the first time. Graham had graciously honored my request that we wait until we were married to enjoy the feeling of our union; that it would be wholesome and pure.

                After another shower, we decided to spend the entire day at the beach. I was going to take in as much sun as possible and attempt to wear each bathing suit that I had purchased. I had only bought eleven for the trip. That afternoon he had booked beach side massages. As we lay next to one another on tables, I only open my eyes occasionally to look at him. I can tell that he has been watching me the whole time during his massage. A few more hours in the sun and it would be time for dinner.

                We had purchased a package that allowed for us to have a discount at participating restaurants on the island. An all-inclusive package included dining at nine different restaurants, seven lounges, non-motorized water sports options, nightly entertainment and much more. I could not have been more thrilled with his choice. The fact that he had picked a spot in the Caribbean with luxury accommodations and plenty more to explore left me with a satisfied palate. The first evening, I had wanted something fresh from the ocean for dinner. The Palms Grill offered oceanfront dining and would allow me the option of having local seafood. I chose the Palm Salad which offered garden greens with hearts of palm, pine nuts, mandarin orange, chicken and croutons, sprinkled with a peanut-ginger dressing. I then followed this with Swordfish and Beef which was accompanied with a fresh vegetable medley for stir-frying and French fries. In a way, I had both island and American cuisines. Graham had Beef and Shrimp and opted for the same salad and sides.

                At the end of dinner, we remained at our table for quite some time sipping at our glasses of red wine. He had chosen a Merlot, perhaps my favorite; and we were now working on a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, a close second. I have since then believed and have carried it with me that a glass of wine is quite unlike any other drink in the world. It has life. From the minute the vines were planted to the end result in the glass, there is something supernatural about the process and product. Wine evolves.

                The following morning, I woke early as usual and Graham was still in a stupor of alcohol and dreams. Letting him sleep, I decided to go to breakfast alone. Raul graciously brought my Bloody Mary with a smile and asked me if I was enjoying Aruba. I recanted the events of my first day on the island and followed that rendition up with the events that I had planned for the rest of the week. I would see Raul each morning for the rest of my time in Aruba…alone. Graham was obviously taking advantage of the ability to sleep in. I, on the other hand, was not about to waste a waking moment in a place such as this.