After eating some wood-fired pizza; which was absolutely yummy, we got back on the open road. I had ordered a fresh, but satisfying Mediterranean pizza complete with meats, mushrooms and Kalamata olives. As usual, I told them to hold the onions. My children think I am crazy because I enjoy the flavoring that onions bring to a dish, but not the onions themselves.

While driving, we spotted license plates from different states. On our trip, we would identify all fifty; which is not at all uncommon, as we would drive nearly three-thousand miles to our destination. They had fun with it, and when we got to hard ones, I offered each of them a chance at a two-dollar bill if they could spell the state also. Think Massachusetts, not Utah. Maine and even Maryland were excluded, as they are just too easy for two teenagers with I.Q.'s above 160. They were definitely blessed with Brady's beautiful mind, and Liam additionally got the math portion.

It would still be nearly fifteen hours until the base of the Grand Canyon, so my plan was to layover in Albuquerque, New Mexico. They were comfortable traveling that far, and we had gotten a later start from Bricktown anyway. The history lesson pertaining to the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995 went over well, as I could see the sadness in my kid's eyes at the memorial.

At any rate, we stopped about every two hours to get a lite snack and lose some liquid that had been retained in our bladders. Liam was fond of candy and Isabella preferred healthier alternatives; which I was proud of. She in no way needed to lose weight, as she was a solid size six, and I hoped that she would be able to maintain her beautiful figure at least until children came along. Despite having a sweet tooth, Liam was careful with his dental hygiene practices, and had never had a cavity. Lucky chimp!

As we traveled across I-40W, both the children seemed to be dreaming; literally at times, of the summer that awaited them in "Sunny" California.

I had purposefully planned for our second stop to be in Colorado. Brady had wanted to take me out West to see things like the Grand Canyon and Lake Mead and the smaller towns that the West was truly built on. This was absolutely something that I desired and deeply wanted to share with the children.

It would take us a total of three days and we would stop in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Albuquerque, New Mexico and finally arrive in Grand Canyon National Park.

Oklahoma City was a stop I had planned as sort of a history lesson. My children were young enough that they did not know much about the Oklahoma City bombing.

Today there is a memorial which commemorates not only the sadness of the event, but also is a dedication to those who "met their Lord" that day. I sometimes wonder if memorials are such a good idea. "Have we idolized the bomber and not the people who have lost their lives?", I thought. I shared that sentiment with the kids, and they pondered on that notion as well. Since cost was not going to be an issue this summer, we stayed at the Skirvin Hilton in Downtown Oklahoma City that evening.

We slept in that morning and checked out at 11:00 AM on the button. Despite it being too early for lunch, Isabella and Liam wanted pizza of all things. I had scanned the phone book the nite before and I had remembered one in Bricktown. Wedge Pizzeria was certainly an establishment that had been "on the map" in the Oklahoma City scene for quite some time. They offered many styles that came out of flaming wood-fired ovens. I immediately knew upon arrival that the kids would be pleased; and therefore, it was another "win" for Mom on our excursion toward our final destination for the summer.

I had a sort of "responsible glow" to me that morning that we headed West. I promised to tell the children where we were going by the time time we reached the "Gateway to the West", in St. Louis, Missouri; but until then, they would have to let their minds wander. From Asheville, it was a good ten hours by the time we would stop for breakfast and lunch. I had purposely planned a few stops along the way that would be surprises and St. Louis, Missouri, was our first "layover" on "Day 1".

The first night, we would stay at the Hyatt, right at the base of the arch; and in the morning, we would go up inside the 1100 foot-high structure to have a look at the city from the "Gateway to the West". Whatever it took, this was going to be a summer to remember.

Breakfast was consumed at the Red Kitchen & Bar, as the Hyatt had an all-inclusive package. I opted for cold cereal and yogurt and the children had waffles until they were running out of their ears. I had never seen Bella and Liam ingest so much at one sitting. I opted for a lite and refreshing Mimosa that morning, which seemed to calm my nerves. It was not that my Abilify was not working, it was simply the stress of providing that "perfect summer" before Bella's senior year and Liam's beginning to tenth grade. Perfection would not be achieved, but I was striving for the victory line; as I wanted it to be as close to perfection as possible. "What mother doesn't?", I pondered over fruit, yogurt, cereal and a green tee from Starbucks. Once we finished with breakfast, we each ordered another "5-bucks from Starbucks"; and it was a short walk to the arch before getting back on the open road.

I decided that evening as Bella and I were driving home from prom that we needed to do something extraordinary over the summer. I thought of a few places right away which Brady had taken me, but I wanted this to be a summer they could remember with their mother; not tainted of memories from the past.

I definitely desired for it to be a beach location as we had made many memories on the ocean or near water. I discounted foreign lands, but did not entirely rule them out. North Carolina and South Carolina were out, so I started looking at the West coast. "Perhaps California", I thought!

As I thought more about our destination, I narrowed down a list of West coast destinations. And finally it hit me, "Coronado "! Yes, we would go to Coronado Beach for the summer.

Not only did I have Brady's income to support a summer house at the beach, but besides what I had spent on the children for prom and to get Liam licensed to drive, I had managed to save some of my pay from working for Clayton at Edward Jones. Somehow a summer at the beach would have to relax me; hopefully better than a handful of Quaalude's. In two weeks we would pack up and go.

I shared with the kids the morning after prom that we would be spending the summer at the beach. I did not share with them the destination, they would have to wait and see. Suitable rentals were expensive, but the prices fluctuated in my favor a bit as the summer was calling for tropical storms and perhaps even hurricanes and earthquakes. None of this scared me, so I took advantage of the fact that the realtor shared this small little detail with me and bartered for a lower price.

The summer would cost us $8,000. Cost was not an issue, as my income from Brady's efforts alone was several times the capital outlay on a monthly basis...and we would have the house from June 1 to Labor Day.

The last week of school seemed to drag on for Bella and Liam. Many times they shared with me that they would like to just skip the last few days and head to our destination. However, I shared with them that attendance was also important when it comes time for colleges to review your transcripts. The sighs, whines and moans continued almost daily, so I knew I had captured their hearts and that my planning for this trip and the summer away might provide a sort of oasis for us all.

The prom that evening was held at the Grove Park Inn. The hotel has been a desired destination; and considered highly recommended as a "gem of the South" in Asheville, North Carolina, since 1913. A man had a vision, and Mr. Grove put it into place himself, working men tirelessly for months to finish it after declining offers from architects across the United States.

I was asked to be a chaperone for the evening, which made me feel more comfortable. Isabella looked beautiful and her date handsome. They "danced the night away", so to speak; at times a little closer and a little more "fresh" than I would have liked. However, I did and always have trusted the judgement of my daughter, as her father and I raised her with Christian values that remain intact.

The night went quickly, and by 11:00 PM, it was time to retreat to our small castle. Brady had provided one of the finest homes in a wonderful location for us. It was a German-European styled home that was built in the 1980's. The previous owners had a vision that I would classify as Austrian, but the architecture was more German in my opinion. Plenty roomy though, for the three of us now.

As Bella and I traveled home, she gazed at the formal pictures they had taken. As one can imagine, they turned out to be great. Many times before I have mentioned that she was growing up too fast and was too beautiful for her own good; just like her mother in the "hay-day". Bella would get a good nights sleep; as we had the weekend and only one week of school left. She would be a senior next year, Brady would be fully licensed, and soon I would have another family member out of the nest...something I was ill prepared for.

Whether I liked it or not, sixty was approaching fast. I felt regret and remorse for days after the evening spent with Clayton; but for a moment in time, he made me feel like a woman again. In some way, I needed to lose a little of Brady and regain some of me.

For several nights, I pondered how I might do this. I prayed, I thought; and I prayed some more. Unceasingly for hours at times. No answers immediately came, but somehow I felt an eerily calm rather than my normal attitude of impatience while going thru the process.

The following Monday, I sat down with Clayton to have a chat and quit Edward Jones. While Edward Jones had provided me with a respite, some income and some benefits the costs now outweighed the benefits, and it was time to move on. My physical, mental  and emotional health had been restored, and I needed to start a new chapter of my life.

Prom! Isabella been asked by a number of boys to go to the prom, and eventually chose a "brainiac" over a "musclehead". This made me proud and I felt honoured. "Had I really been raising her to see the best in herself and others" , I pondered? "And where had Brady influenced her in this manner along the way", was my second thought? Nonetheless, it was Brad; ironically, that she would be sharing a VERY short prom evening with.

Chartreuse was to be the color that year, but Isabella had chosen emerald green. The front of the A-frame dress had a diamond patterned sequence design, and she wore her hair up with plenty of curl. She was and had become a beautiful woman; much too fast.

I had a sneaking suspicion that morning that something was definitely amiss. Clayton was in too good of a mood to have just had one too many cups of coffee. Flowers, gifts for my children, a clean desk from the nite before. Something was definitely different. I took it all in stride to see exactly how the day would play out.

At approximately lunch time, Clayton approached my desk and mentioned that he would be out for most of the afternoon. However, he had asked me if I would meet him for dinner at Ruth's Chris. I had no problem with veraciously eating a slab of cold beef that evening...it had been a while, so I humbly accepted. I could still tell that there was more on his mind, and i wondered if something was not creeping into mine as well.

We each ordered the Rib-eye. The best cut of meat no doubt, and I additionally had whipped red-skin potatoes and asparagus as sides. He ordered an expensive bottle of wine from the Napa Valley and began talking in a much sweeter tone. At first it was wholesome. He was expressing his appreciation for my extraordinary hard work around the office; and then all at once, turned to flattery.

I had worn a "little black dress" for the occasion and perhaps that was not the right move. Not that i wore it for Clayton specifically, but more for myself. I had always enjoyed dressing "to the nines" for Brady, and I suppose I never lost that hallmark trait. The flattery turned to a "come on" and sadly I was melting.

After a second bottle of wine, my head was now filled with as much flattery and compliments that I was prepared to do the worst. I would go home with Clayton that nite, and make what I would call a colossal mistake. Nonetheless, I had longed to be in the arms of a strong man for several years now. It mattered not that nite that he was twenty years my junior. I wanted someone to want me. The love that he portrayed so sweetly was like a bit of honey overflowing from a glass of tea that had been poured too full.

I wondered what Monday morning would feel like as I drove home at 4:30 AM. Not knowing, I was glad I had the weekend to process the "garbage-in, garbage-out"!